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A serene, rock-edged pond, deep green and cool on a hot day. The soothing babble of the waterfall. The flashes of gold, red and white as goldfish and koi dart among the overhanging leaves and grasses and come up to nibble at their food.

Sounds nice, doesn't it?

Now let's get real.

I recently moved into a home with an established fish pond in the backyard. I knew enough about fish keeping to have realized it would require some care and attention, but I really had no idea what I was getting into.

Even though I inherited these fish rather than setting out to get them on my own, once a living creature is in my care, I take that responsibility seriously. So I was determined to be the best pond fish mom in the history of the world.

Luckily I was able to turn to the experts on the website where I worked for advice on feeding, cleaning, replacing water, and other basic pond keeping tips.

I ran in a panic to consult Dr. Tepper, a vet I worked with who specialized in fish, when one of my fish blew up like a balloon. I assumed she was pregnant, but when she hadn't spawned by October, I realized she must be sick. Maybe, he said. She could have kidney disease, or she could just be shaped that way. Some goldfish get that shape when they're old. She is still swimming around, eating, and seemingly fine, so I guess she's just doing that "I swallowed a basketball" look that's so popular in geriatric fish circles.

Not even Dr. Tepper could help me with my next problem, though. It's the dogs.

To the dogs, the pond is some kind of snack bar. They want to drink out of it, and they'd really like to give sushi a try. The pond is large and full of great hiding places, so the fish were safe. At first. Then the dogs decided to try swimming.

Now, I have big dogs. And while the pond is a lovely size, it is not big enough for the dogs to swim in. The fish so far are fine, but I'm afraid the huge and very lovely water plant is history. I have no idea how to get it out of the pond... it weighs a ton... and am hoping it will come back on its own. In the meantime I'm scooping dead vegetation out of the pond and cursing the dogs.

Is the water safe for the dogs to drink? Dr. Jill Richardson from the ASPCA Poison Prevention Center told me that other than possible upset stomachs, yes. It's not killing the fish, which is a good thing, but my dogs aren't fish so I don't know how much of a barometer that is. I can't figure out how to stop them from drinking out of it without destroying a central landscape focus of the garden, either. I'm not a bacteriophobe, and I do allow my dogs to drink out of streams, but the closed environment of an artificial fish pond probably presents more risks than a natural body of water. On the other hand, there are millions of dogs and cats and wild animals who drink out of backyard fishponds every day of their lives with no ill effects whatsoever.

Still, I think my days as a pond keeper are numbered. I'm worried about the water quality, worried about the diet, worried about the dogs, and worried about the fish. I think it would be better if they went to live in a pond with someone who appreciates them for the "living jewels" they are, rather than someone who approaches the pond each morning in dread of seeing a floater (so far, so good, though).

Then again, every time I think I'm ready to give up, I find myself intrigued by some newly discovered aspect of pond and koi keeping. Time will tell whether I have a future in this fascinating and engrossing hobby.

Christie Keith is the Community and Editorial Director of PetHobbyist.com, and admits that in the years since she first wrote this article, she has indeed been bitten by the pond keeping bug, and still has her fish and her pond.